Dear Zavier, You won’t remember any of this. Maybe you won’t care about it, either. But something in me drives me to keep capturing these small moments {even if I don’t always document them here on our blog}; something makes … Continue reading
Sunday, April 7, 2013. Mile Rock Beach | Land’s End. San Francisco, CA Just give me hiking trails, a beach, the city I love and the guys I love even more, and I am a happy, happy girl. ♥ Snap … Continue reading
Dear Zavier,
This morning, you and I layed in bed propped up on pillows turning the pages of your new favorite book, Kadir Nelson‘s beautifully-illustrated depiction of the song “He’s Got The Whole World in His Hands,” as I sang the words softly and you studied the artwork.
You’d requested the book/song about a dozen times last night at bedtime, until finally I decided it was time for both you and my meager singing voice to call it a night (though I remember thinking how sweet it was that, probably just because I’m your mom, you love hearing me sing).
And of course, the first thing you did when you got out of bed this morning was grab the book off your bookshelf and bring it to me, shoving it in my face and saying, “Home? Home?”
You call the book/song “Home” (your almost-two-year-old version of “Whole World,” I’m assuming), and it’s funny to me both because it’s completely wrong, lol, and because your dad and I recently had a conversation about the word “home” and how it can be many different things to different people.
For your dad, “home” is me. For me, “home” is the two of you. And for you…right now, at least…”home” is an old song in a new book sung in your mother’s voice.
I’m struck by the sweetness of it all.
♥
Mommy.
My life is far from perfect… but it’s mine.
Sometimes when I sit back and really think about the don’ts and can’ts and have nots that fill my little world, the threat of disappoinment washes over me – but thankfully, I am able to push it back with the thought that there is so much that I do have that the things I don’t really don’t need to matter that much. So in retrospect, it’s really all okay.
I’m being pretty vague in the interest of privacy, so this might not make much sense to anyone other than me (and maybe Galen), but that’s okay, too. :)
I am pretty fortunate to be such a memory junkie. In my deepest moments of feeling sorry for myself, I get to look back on old blog posts or even Instagram photos like these and kick myself for forgetting just how charmed my life is.
Besides – just like that milkshake, I get to share this life with my best friend and our cute little sidekick. ;) And as I navigate this sometimes less-than-ideal life of mine, I do so with them right there with me.
So. Our life is far from perfect…but it’s ours. :)
“No matter what happens in the future, this happened in the past.” That thought entered my head Wednesday afternoon as I snapped these photos of my little guy. The past few weeks, concern and anxiety have weighed heavily on my … Continue reading
On Motherhood and Marriage 